Giving up ? Not an option !

Last evening as I was grappling with a post on FB, it was quite natural to turn to my daughter to help me complete it.  "Ma you give up so easily " she chided me. As I sulked, I realised that I have been tethered to my own thoughts of feeling rather inadequate when it comes to writing.

Time for some introspection!

   

I figured that I had locked up a small list of insecurities, tucked them away in an obscure place, which I would often like to visit. Sometimes the visit would leave be feeling all scalded and would take a few days to heal.

   

But strange, that instead of working on those insecurities, I have often taken the easier route of reaching out to people, sought their help and got the task done! I have never been refused help and that made my job very easy.

But then, I simply gave up a chance to learn something new.

   

It seems like I have been deftly avoiding the process of learning and better that “something”, that I was feeling inadequate about.

   

Every day brings its own challenges, but also an opportunity to learn something new. And I realise by taking the easy way out I have deprived myself a chance to go up the learning curve.

Well it’s not too late and maybe I can promise myself to finish that course on Coursera and not switch sessions for the “n”th time. I might have to advance my waking up time though ;-).

Looks like "Prioritising" is the new buzz word that’s going to help me get there !

“What you practice grows stronger “. This sentence spoken by a lady on a Ted Talk really resonated with me and makes a lot of sense now.

Clearly, giving up is not an option that’s available if I want to learn.

Having committed to that, I promise not to be harsh on myself, exhibit some TLC and pay some kind attention to those parts of me, which need it. But the next time, I need help on finishing a writing piece, get that excel numbers out of my way or some new ideas for a workshop, “Dial A Friend “is not an option J

The Wait ....

I stared at my ticket in disbelief  : 4 and a half hours of waiting at the airport for a connecting flight to go  home ! After 3 days of hectic activity at a Lit Fest in Jodhpur,  the thought of sleeping in one’s own bed was irresistible ! I chided myself for not having asked the travel agent for other options! No wait, she did send me the ticket well in advance and I did have an opportunity to ask. Well, the answer was simple, at that point of time, I was not supposed to travel again the next day . So I will have to be content with lesser sleeping hours.  I forgave myself for this lapse.

The day of travel and the onward flight was delayed. I did not have to worry cause there was 4+ hours gap before the next flight ! I surprised myself by making this entire situation, which started off as a blame game of self to a “dekha I told you “ wala shabaashi ! As I waited and waited for the boarding announcement in Jodhpur Airport , I was overwhelmed with the company of this  vivacious lady , who had not only seen my performance at the storytelling sessions but also chatted up at dinner the previous night . She remembered my story and while doing so she was so magnanimous in paying me compliments . It made me feel so special . The conversations meandered on this and that and ended up in a discovery of mutual friends to mutual interests. How those couple of hours breezed by patah hi nahin chala.  As she offered me some jalebis , I hesitated , giving her my usual retort, that I am already sweet ( read diabetic)  She just casually commented ..”just before you eat it, look at it and say you can do me no harm” and savor it !

Janaki Khush hui and the box was one jalebi minus !

I landed up in Delhi Airport (no.2) with 3 hours to spare .  The 1^st hour went off quickly as I tried to figure out the boarding gate, walking through security, browsing through books and other stores, indulging in some limited retail therapy and finally ending up in a Lounge , thank you Mastercard !

A book to read, a fresh lime soda for company,  a match to see, a conversation with a friend , long distance,  and 3 hours was not enough !

As I finally  stood in the line to board the flight home, I was overcome with a sense of gratitude on how beautifully the hours of waiting had melted away and couldn’t help recollecting what Deepak Chopra had said “ Accept people , circumstances and events as they are in the moment. When confronted with any challenge , remind yourself "This moment is as it should be " because the entire universe is as it should be !