Jab I met SRK !

It was one of those rare moments in my life where I actually wanted a photo of mine taken with this man…this friend… this phenomenon called SRK ! And once I was successful in my mission I was simply over the moon !!

At the audio release function of RaOne in Chennai , I managed to get close up to a point when he saw me and  exclaimed “Janaki” and gave me this tight warm hug which said so many things without actually saying it ! He even whispered…”I’ll call you “ much to my amazement !

All those memories of having spent a year together in a film school studying, doing projects  , attending plays at Sri Ram Centre and discussing films over pots and pots of chai , amma making him the south indian filter coffee he so liked at home ,  gifting him a tokri of vegetables on his birthday bash and then dancing to all kinds of music thru the night with all our friends ….gosh it was like a rewind trip down memory lane….21 yrs back !!!

A side of SRK that never gets spoken about is his "ready to help always " attitude. And so when I asked him several years ago, if he would spend a few minutes with a specially abled child, who was a diehard  SRK fan, he immediately agreed and spent almost an hour at a dubbing studio in Chennai in his lunch break !! Thank you Shah Rukh..we too never forget J

Why so much about a 2 mins meeting one might ask…for me it confirms a belief that old friends do not forget and the feeling of happiness that the thought and fact brings in me !

Friendship is a feeling that can start from wherever it paused…just pick up the threads and move on….It’s one of the cases where you apply the phrase “no silly feelings” and just continue !

Something I read recently feels so apt here …”you don’t have to do much to spread happiness…you just have to be happy yourself “

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Adieu Amma - 9th May 2011

How does one say goodbye to an amazing  woman who made us what we are with all the love and affection that one could ever imagine ?

Rekha and I are fortunate that we were able to look after amma in whatever way we could but she decided, that it was time to pass on to the other world and join appa there !

On 9th May, Monday, at 5.20 am when she breathed her last, the face was suddenly filled with a sense of calm and peace which was absent since March 17th, when she was struck by the stroke.

It was sad to see amma slowly slip into a phase of almost nothingness...a situation which made us totally helpless

But amma  planned her exit so well…she made sure Rekha settled in her new home , that  she and Raghav could come from Delhi ,  gave us enough time to plan her last journey , and by 5.30 pm she had moved on  !

All our friends, hers and appa's  have been calling and remembering not only her hospitality but her cooking…like appa used to say “anybody can cook, but in Sarasa’s cooking, the main ingredient is love “ How true !

In all these years we don’t remember Amma ever raising her voice at us at all…. She used to maintain her calm at all times and was always there for us whenever we needed her

Sabesh and Raghav will miss their caring mami and Dhwani & Dakshina their doting Patti

We know she won’t be there to chant those prayers when we want, she no longer will patiently explain the recipe whenever Rekha needs it but yes she will be there always by our side helping us, guiding and blessing us.

As Amma would have liked , we have  donated to a few institutions that have conducted cataract surgeries, educating the girl child, helping school drop outs to complete their education ,  to an old priest who is on a hand to mouth existence in Trichur , anna daanam and so on  from the 9th day to the 12th day. On the 13th day we had a navagraha poojai followed by a Tirupugazh bhajanai which was conducted beautifully by Raghav’s father  (again amma’s wish) followed by dinner.

Love you amma and will miss you lots and lots :-(

Zombie

While we are so busy with our lives, attending to whatever needs to be done minute by minute, day by day, week by week , year by year, suddenly LIFE presses the PAUSE Button ,  some incidents happen , taking  us completely by surprise !

Thoughts such as …why ? How will I ? What will I do ?....keep knocking at my temple…but I try and shoo them away almost in reaction that what is happening right now is actually not Happening to Me….. a state of  Complete Denial !

Like a friend of mine said , “there is always too much pressure to be interesting and be interested in life ...it’s nice to take a break and feel nothing...and if u are liking it then it’s probably what u needed :-)”

I call this state, ZOMBIE…but does this mean I have stopped appreciating the good that’s happening also ? Not at all !

There is so much of good and positive vibes that are happening …. We as a family are spending  time together ….Though in her own world, amma is with me ….learning so much from amma’s young nurse, Shankari who will put a Robert Bruce to shame , such are her efforts and that too with a smile J

My best friends …my maids Nirmala and Vijaya with their pleasant dispositions despite their  HUGE personal tragedies , force me to take charge of Myself  and breeze  thru the  day with a SMILE !

I am liking this state of being a Zombie for it has its own teachings…..most important being that I should live for Now and let me take each day as it comes and not wait for anything dramatic to happen !

Somehow the intellect and the intuition both seem perfectly happy in this harmonious state of being !

Yahi waqt hai !

Yahi waqt hai karle poori arzoo one of the old Hindi melodies kept me company as I was driving back from work….made me think yes…the lyrics are so relevant even to this day  !

Aagey bhi jaane na tu …peeche bhi jaane na tu…job hi hai bas yahi ek pal hai!

What we have is just the present so why not live it fully eh ?

I remember this conversation with my MIL ….. I had got a call from Cochin about the death of one of her close friends and as I broke the news to her ….athai (as I call her ) looked at me and with sadness descending on her face ...said “yes she had been ailing for some time….paavam !”  ….she paused and suddenly asked me “did you see the knock Sachin played last night ?” !!!

Wow ! that was a Sixer !!! What an attitude ! At 80 + she had  taught me the true meaning of “live this moment”...what was gone was gone but one can remember the happy moments right ?

Never ever will I ridicule her watching innumerable serials , her tryst with the Tata sky remote … as she  makes the maximum of the present  juggling along with the  slokams / cricket / indulging in those countless books on fiction and occasional participation in family conversations J

Jeena shaayadh isi ko kehte hain !

Power of a Blink

If only she could express with words, if only she could tell us how painful it is to listen to all the stories that we keep telling her but unable to participate ….

As she lies there , in her own little world , which one can only try to imagine ….but you know what she has found a new way of connecting with us !!!

Though the dictionary says ….” BLINK is to open and close (the eye or eyes), usually rapidly and repeatedly”  Amma uses the blink much beyond …

She blinks slowly to acknowledge …sometimes even to shut herself away from what’s happening around her ….

It makes me wonder how we take everything for granted in life …and today a simple blink has the power of communicating with all of us…

Aschey Bochor Abhar hobe

Something that I wrote in Oct last year after an amazing trip to Kolaktta with phull family !

Our trip to Kolkatta was definitely a  trip down memory lane and I know after reading this piece Asha / Chandra akka / Ramani athimbar will want to be in Cal sooon!!

Eight of us landed in the City of Joy to experience the four day affair with Maa Durgaa!! What greeted us of course …something that has and will not  change and it was yes u guessed it right the perennial JAMMM of Kolkotta! Thanks to my  anna, we had this amazing guest house in New Alipore and after settling down we were all ready to start Pandal Hopping !! (settling down to be read as giving the cooks there a long list of all that we wanted to taste in the next 4 days !!)

Amidst crowds and never ending queues, we braved our way into every gali, mohalla, nukkad which true to the Bong culture has to have a PANDAL! As they say ….one Bengali is a poet, two Bengalis form a political party and 3 Bengalis mean 2 PUJO Committees!!

4 days – The world became a heady rush of sound, perfume, bright lights, friends and festivity all wrapped in a warm feeling of togetherness even among complete strangers!

At this point I must praise the hyper enthusiasm of my MIL Seetha athai  (approaching the 80 mark ) who with her never say die attitude made sure we went to every crowded place including Dakshineswar and BelurMutt !!!

As we moved from one Pandal to another one could not help but just admire the decoration, the elaborate arrangements – the objective was to ensure the maximum no of visitors , maximum coverage on the media. And it’s all about the labour of love as the visitors are not charged a penny!! The rituals were comforting , nostalgic….the Prasad bhog, the stalls that led us to the Pandal, nothing has changed …..Like Sabesh & Anna commented Calcutta has just stood still……

Maa Durga’s face some of them depicting anger , some victorious, some very very calm….Gosh! can her beauty ever be put into words ?? It has to be experienced!!

Something I read….. these idols are sent to all parts of the world almost 6 weeks before the Pujo…like Seattle , Singapore & Saigon…There has been a regular Puja in Switzerland since 2004 J

Varieties of sandesh, Mishti Doi, Bhaiguni Bhaja, Egg rolls in Park Street, Puchkas in Haldiram…baap re baap…have hid the weighing scale LOL !!!

As I sign off….leave you with  a quote …

“Deep down we Bengalis know that our Pujo is only incidentally about prayer…It is in the deepest sense, a celebration of our Identity”

Aschey Bochor Abhar hobe – Once again next year!

4pm coffee call

She taught me to say “amma. She taught me to eat, to drink...the alphabets , the good from the bad....

Today as she lies on the bed, in her own world , a mute spectator to all that’s happening around her, we are trying to make her remember who she is. Her name. Our names. It makes me wonder.... How eager  she must have been just to hear me utter “amma” for the very first time ?

Between the 17th and 21st of March,  amma had 2 strokes. While the first one rendered her right side weak, the second one affected her left. Additionally, this has affected her motor skills and her memory. Her long term memory is quite intact- she picks up and recites any slokam irrespective of which line you recite to her. However, she is confined to the bed.

Most of us say “maa will call you back…on an important  call right now…..” and then thanks to the lifestyle we maintain, we just forget about that call….

Life really does not give us too many chances guys…...just lift that phone and make that call to your amma even if it means telling that colleague or client of yours that you will call them back !!!All she needs is 10 mins .....

Amma used to call me every day at 4 pm when she was sipping her coffee at home and me would then share some notes about that day sipping my hot coffee in office or wherever I was…..

For the past 3 and a half weeks, I have been waiting for amma to just call out my name by herself , but then I know the wait is going to be a long one  ….!

Life is strange and  stranger are the lessons it teaches us !